newcomer to amanita - shamanic / healing perspective

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Zee
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newcomer to amanita - shamanic / healing perspective

Post by Zee » Mon Mar 23, 2020 10:25 pm

I have not tried Amanita--yet. I do have the dried European ones in my cupboard, waiting till I'm ready to use it. I will use a very low dose.

Let me be clear that this is NOT something I particularly want to do. I have had bad experiences with pharmaceuticals, I'm on the Aspergers spectrum, and I'm VERY sensitive to medication. I've never liked the feeling of being drunk / etc. I do not do recreational....anything.

I do use CBD occasionally for anxiety, fairly low doses infrequently, and I use mushrooms for nutritional and health benefits (chaga, Lions Mane, Cordyceps, turkey tail, reishi, etc). I'm interested in herbal and natural remedies, as well as the nonordinary aspects of healing.

I'm also on a shamanic path, so I follow certain paths that others don't, which lead to interesting places (and more emotional healing than I've gotten elsewhere). Recently amanitas were being pointed out to me at an increasing rate. First I was seeing them on tumblr and reblogging because they're so pretty, then I became curious and started to investigate what they are, and then I started to find out that people use them internally.

Soon I was seeing them everywhere online, and found my way to Amanita Dreamer's channel. Although my experiences are very different, I understood being on the spectrum and dealing with debilitating anxiety, which has been a part of my life in various degrees since childhood.

Perhaps foolishly, I felt that shamanic plants were a mistake, something people did selfishly by traveling halfway across the world, when they could do shamanic work in different ways that didn't involve going to the jungle and using the native vines. I had decided awhile ago that if I ever used a "shamanic plant" it would have to be something that was possible to get locally--and I would have to be guided to it by Mother Earth!

Well, I didn't think there WAS anything like that, so I didn't worry about it! It was easy to say I would use something like that if I thought it would never show up for me!!

Well, recently I was guided to the amanitas (which has a history of shamanic use and does grow locally, though I haven't found any personally yet), and that really scared me! I had a knee-jerk aversion to any sort of getting high. I don't like the feeling and I don't want any part of it. When I was on medications for depression, I hated the disconnected way they made me feel. I am very distrustful of substances that make a person "out of it."

But the mushrooms were being pointed out to me very specifically in non-ordinary reality (shamanic experiences and dreams). The mushrooms have danced in front of me like cartoons and kept showing up in my experiences. They actually talked to me a bit, and I've been seeing them all over the internet ever since, and in my dreams. Still, it was not in season so I had no access--I didn't have to worry about following through on my promise. I didn't have to worry about DOING anything about this mushroom!!

Then Amanita Dreamer posted a video about a European mushroom you could buy. I now had access -- if I could bring myself to take it. Again, I was uncertain and didn't choose to follow this path.

The mushrooms kept showing up for me in my dreams / visions / internet use / etc. Then my Animal Friend/Helper (who has previously guided me to medicinal plants I've needed to investigate*), took my wrist in his teeth and dragged me physically towards the mushroom, growling and biting me in frustration. My Animal Friend has NEVER been so insistent about anything in my life! He was so frustrated and insistent, I knew I had to follow through this time.

I promised him I would buy some of the mushrooms, and did so that day. The smallest possible amount. While trembling with nervousness. But after that, the feeling of urgency completely left me, and I've been in waiting mode ever since. Days passed, and the Pandemic arrived. Then the Mushrooms arrived. I am waiting for the right time to work with them.

I will take a very small dose and ask my Animal Friends to protect and guide me when I do. I am still uneasy about it, but feel that I am really supposed to follow up on this. Nothing bad will happen to me if I don't -- but this seems to be an answer I asked for, a path I opened myself. Whether it is a physical improvement, an emotional improvement, or something to do with my shamanic path, I don't know yet.

It's going to be a big step for me. I'm scared.

I thought that I would join to post about my experience here, being led to the mushroom, and later, after I've taken it.


(*My Animal Friend led me to another healing plant, called osage orange, which people use for cancer treatment and various physical problems. It's another thing that people think is inedible, but actually has a cultural history of medicinal / healing use. I had to go down rabbit holes on the internet to find out about it, and then I had to be encouraged by my Animal Friend to actually try it. It's been very helpful. I didn't have cancer, but it's been helpful for my breathing and airways, and generally becoming stronger. I've had symptoms of chronic fatigue but no diagnosis for more than ten years. A small, daily dosage of osage orange seems to help me feel stronger and have a more functional life. You gather the large yellow/green balls in the late fall, keep them in the freezer, and eat a very small amount as needed. People sell powdered capsules online, but I'd rather get it locally so I can trust it. The fruit tastes like very mild citrus/melon. It's not particularly tasty, but it's medicinal so it's not about the taste. It's definitely NOT poison.)

Zee
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Re: newcomer to amanita - shamanic / healing perspective

Post by Zee » Thu Mar 26, 2020 11:38 pm

Had my first very small dose yesterday. The effect was pretty fast. Nothing felt spiritual about the experience at all. It didn't hurt me at all, either. I was slightly shaky at first, but not in a big way. And all day, I felt all my feelings, a LOT. It was uncomfortable, but not bad. I also had a lot of dreams last night. Anyway, I haven't noticed a huge effect of any sort. I did manage to do something today that would likely have caused me anxiety in the past, and I was mostly okay. However, I had anxiety about other, lesser things so it's a net benefit if any. It will likely take more than one dose to see significant progress in any area. I'll probably try it again in a week and see if I notice anything. To me this doesn't seem to be a shamanic "substance" at this point of trial. And as I'm not willing to take large doses, I won't find out personally what that could be like. That leaves the potential healing aspects to be experienced. We shall see! :mrgreen:

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