my first experience with a AM tea

[mintmono]

Hello everybody, I'm new here, and also new to all this...

I boiled 15g of dried amanitas in water for about 20mins, then threw out the mushroom and froze the liquid in a jar in the freezer.
Cautiously tried very small amounts, about 1/8 of tea spoon in hot water with freshly squeezed orange juice and orange slices. Felt a lil buzz and happy relaxed vibe for about an hour or so, but was not sure if it was placebo or the mushroom. After doing it like this a couple of times over a span of a month I decided to add a amount that should have a really noticeable effect so I could determine how potent my stuff is.

So... I added about 1 teaspoon to hot water with some orange juice and orange slices and drank all that. And it went like this:

got really restless, wanted to move a lot, felt like energy kept on building and building, so I started dancing to music. I did that for about an hour.
Then my guts made some noises and I started having diarhea like never before. Went to toilet many times. Drank a lot of water to keep myself hydrated. I expected to feel nausea, but there was almost none, only maybe a barely noticeable discomfort. So I would go to the toilet and go to dance and back to toilet and go dance so more...

After about an hour of that I started to ponder how long I'm going to be in this unusual diarhea and dance ritual. I had no hallicunations but when dancing I started imagining that when I'm dancing those long chineese dragons follow the flow of my movements and surround me. The general feeling was tension, mild anxiety and mild fear of where is this experience going to take me.

After a while I started feeling a bit tired and the diarhea sessions stopped. I started feeling like this whole time I have been trying my hardest to fight this experience, to control it, to somehow manage the fear and tension with my willpower and force it into a pleasant experience. Then I started realizing that I try to forcefully control a lot in my life, especially my emotions. And I discovered this big sadness within myself and decided to let it overwhelm me.

I went to my girlfriend who was my trip sitter, and started bawling my eyes out and talked about the death of my mother and how I haven't come to terms with it. She listened to me for about two hours until I felt like I said everything I wanted to say for a long time but never did because I feared to open up this deeply. And I ended up with coming to terms with the death of my mother, finding closure and new meaning in the experience.

After this I felt mildly depressed and had some new ocd compulsions in the form of intrusive thoughts for about 3 weeks with everything gradually going away.

This experience was wild, but I view it as very important to my mental health because I worked over some stuff I was afraid to touch for a long while.



After this I didin't touch AM for about 2 months. I made tea again, using two slices of lemon in tea and about 1/5 of teaspoon of AM juice from the batch I froze earlier. Took a very tiny sip off the top of the cup (I didin't mix everything after adding in the drops of AM) In 10 minutes felt it hit me with energy like the previous time, got very restless and in a mild fight or flight condition, but this time there was no fear and no diarhea. Went to ride my bike for an hour and after I came back home felt relaxed and tunnel vision was gone. Decided not to finish the tea because I had some responsibilities to take care of later. Felt happy and in a good mood for the rest of the day, although physically drained.

So thats my anecdotal experience, I still don't understand much about what I did wrong or right to get the experience I got, maybe someone had something similar? I just started realising that my batch is probably very much potent with ibotenic acid and very weak with muscimol. It was my first time experimenting with this so I probably messed up somewhere.

Regardless, very interesting mushroom.

[Pliplo]

Heyy, thanks for sharing your experience... I dont think you "did anything wrong"... Although only you can sincerely know if you had the right intention and preparation and respect for the experience...

But there is no wrong... Sacred plants and medicines help us dig up what's hidden deep within... It sounds like the mushrooms helped you with that... So good job! We all have negativity and it's better for it to come out... It may be unpleasant in the moment, but it's better than to have it supressed inside, and the thing we have to remember about negativity and emotion is that its LIMITED.

Stay Positive. ♥